‘Oh my god, he’s got sand in his eye.’
‘No, darling, please don’t do that, you’ll just rub it in.’
‘I don’t know what to do. What should I do? Would a tissue help?’
‘He’s rubbing it in. And now it’s stuck to the sun-cream.’
‘Milo, darling, just hold still while I wash it off. STOP rubbing it in!’
Babies and holidays: they don’t always mix. In fact, two unsuccessful trips away from home last year almost put me off for life. In the Lakes, on our wedding night, Milo was teething. He woke up and screamed every two hours all night until, at 5am, I peeled him off my chest and handed him to his father, sobbing, ‘please, just take him away.’ (I do like a bit of drama.)
In the Yorkshire Dales, in the middle of a heatwave and in a house so warmed by its Aga that I was sweating milk, Milo went through a ‘sleep regression’. Uncannily similar to teething, this regression meant he woke every two hours every night for the entire time he was away. And then pretty much kept it up when we got home.
For twelve months.
So it was with some reluctance that, this year, we thought we’d try again. Milo has got to an age where he understands that when I say, in the dead of night, ‘Milo, you’re not hungry, you’re not thirsty, you’re not ill and you’re really not playing with your cars. Now go to bloody sleep’, he knows roughly what I mean. He does: I remember now what eight hours’ sleep feels like.
So we tried an overnight stay to my Mum’s. It wasn’t unbearable. We braved a long weekend in Edinburgh. It was pretty manageable. And then we packed up for a holiday with the grandparents in Whitby. Seven days. Seven nights.
When we got back, I read a feature about why you should never, ever take your kids on holiday. It warned against taking toddlers onto the beach. It mentioned bored kids in hot cars. But it never said a word about not sleeping.
And you know what? There was no need. We’ve finally cracked it. Milo slept like the scruffy little (soggy, mucky) angel he is.
And, aside from the sand in his eye (and an incident involving a dog, a ball and a bloody great pair of teeth bursting Milo’s most beloved of toys), we had the best of times. So I think our travels may only just have begun – it all starts here.
Ratings. Babychanging facilities: No. Cafe: Yes. Buggy-friendly? No. Cost: Free. Beach huts can be hired for around £8 per day; wind breaks £3, deckchairs £2. Worth it? Yes, a beautiful, safe and sandy beach that’s close to town but far enough away for a bit of peace and quiet. Can be a bit windy and, of course, there’s no accounting for the British weather.
